FAQ for Dr. Jené Verchick, Psychologist
Honest answers to the questions I hear most, about how I work, and about couples therapy, marriage counseling, and the decisions couples face. If your question isn't here, reach out and ask.
About Dr. Verchick
What is your background and training?
I'm a licensed clinical psychologist with a doctorate in clinical psychology (PsyD) from the California School of Professional Psychology in Los Angeles, a master's from CSPP, and a second master's in child, adolescent, and family therapy from USC. I have 26+ years of clinical experience.
How do you work? Is it like regular talk therapy?
Not quite. Many people find traditional talk therapy too passive, they talk, the therapist nods, and little changes. I'm warm, but I stay active. When the pattern that keeps hurting you shows up in session, I name it and help you try a different response right there, so change happens in the room, not as homework you forget by midweek.
Who do you work with?
Adults, teens, and couples across Los Angeles, from couples in conflict or rebuilding after a betrayal, to individuals dealing with anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, grief, or a major life change.
What are your specialties?
Couples and marriage work is the core of my practice. I also treat anxiety and high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, depression, OCD, life transitions, and grief, and I see teens navigating pressure and family dynamics.
Couples therapy: the basics
Does couples therapy actually work?
For most couples who commit to it, yes. Research suggests roughly 70 to 75 percent of couples see meaningful improvement. That figure comes from research on Emotionally Focused Therapy, one of the approaches I draw on. It works best when both partners will look at their own part, and when the therapist is active enough to interrupt the pattern rather than watch it repeat.
What is the success rate of couples therapy?
The figure most often cited from the research is around 70 percent of couples improving. The number climbs when both partners are engaged and the therapist uses a structured, evidence-based method rather than open-ended venting.
Can couples therapy save a marriage that feels broken?
Often, yes, especially when the problem is that you've disconnected rather than that the love is gone. Many marriages that feel "broken" are actually depleted: worn down by stress, resentment, and years of unrepaired small hurts. That responds to real attention far more often than people expect.
Is it ever too late for couples therapy?
Rarely as late as it feels. Long marriages have deep roots even when the surface looks bare. It's harder when the patterns are decades old, but I've seen long-married couples reconnect after they'd given up, when both are honest and the therapist is active enough to interrupt old habits.
How long does couples therapy take?
It depends on the couple. Many feel a shift within the first several sessions, and a common range is about 12 to 20 sessions, or roughly three to five months. Repairing a betrayal or undoing years of resentment takes longer. I don't run a fixed program.
How do I know if we need couples therapy?
Common signs: the same argument on repeat, feeling more like roommates than partners, avoiding hard topics, a betrayal, or one of you quietly wondering whether to stay. You don't need a crisis to benefit, plenty of couples come in to get closer, not just to stop fighting.
What happens in the first session?
I meet with both of you together. I want to hear what brought you in, what's been happening, and what you hope changes. I also start working right away, so you won't leave feeling like all we did was fill out paperwork.
What's the difference between couples therapy and marriage counseling?
Functionally, nothing. The two terms describe the same work. People search for both, so I use both, but the therapy is the same whether you're married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship.
Couples therapy or individual therapy, which do we need?
If the pain is mostly in the relationship, couples work usually helps faster. If one person is carrying something individual, anxiety, depression, unresolved trauma, individual therapy can run alongside it. I do both and can help you decide.
Can we start if only one of us is ready?
Yes, and it's common for one partner to feel more ready than the other. The hesitation often comes from a fear of being blamed. My job isn't to assign guilt, it's to help you both stop the blame cycle and look at the relationship as a whole. Frequently, once one partner begins, the dynamic at home shifts and the other becomes willing to join.
Does couples therapy work if one partner is a narcissist or won't take responsibility?
Couples therapy assumes both people will engage honestly and take some ownership. When one partner consistently refuses that, or the relationship involves abuse or coercive control, joint therapy is not the right tool, and individual support and safety come first. I'll tell you honestly if that's what I'm seeing.
Communication tools people ask about
What is the 5-5-5 rule in couples therapy?
A simple structure for a hard conversation: one partner talks for five minutes while the other only listens, then you switch for five minutes, then you spend five minutes talking together about what you each heard. It's the kind of structure I teach so a fight can slow down instead of spiraling.
What is the 2-2-2 rule for couples?
A guideline for protecting the relationship: a date every two weeks, a night away every two months, and a longer trip once a year or two. The specifics matter less than the point, that connection needs deliberate, repeated time, not leftovers.
What should you not say in couples therapy?
There's no forbidden list, but the sessions that stall are the ones where someone keeps score, speaks in "you always / you never" absolutes, or uses the room to win rather than to be understood. Part of my job is helping you say the truer, harder thing underneath the accusation.
Infidelity and rebuilding trust
Can couples therapy help after an affair?
Yes. Rebuilding trust after infidelity is some of the most common work I do, and research suggests a majority of couples who both stay committed to the process do reconcile. It's slow, and it's real work.
Can a marriage ever fully recover from infidelity?
It can, though "recovery" usually means something new rather than a return to exactly how things were. Many couples describe the rebuilt relationship as more honest and closer than before, because the work forces conversations they'd been avoiding for years.
How long does it take to rebuild trust after an affair?
Longer than either partner wants, often many months to a couple of years of steady work. Trust returns through consistency over time, not a single apology, and the timeline depends on honesty, transparency, and both partners staying in the process.
What are the stages of healing after infidelity?
A useful way to think about it, drawn from Gottman's work, is three phases: atone (the partner who strayed takes full responsibility and answers questions honestly), attune (you rebuild understanding and emotional safety), and attach (you rebuild closeness and intimacy). Skipping straight to "let's move on" is the most common mistake.
When should you not try to reconcile after an affair?
When the affair is ongoing, when there's no willingness to be honest and transparent, or when the relationship involves abuse. In those cases the priority isn't repairing the marriage, it's safety and getting clear support.
Choosing a therapist
Should I see a psychologist or a marriage therapist (MFT) for couples work?
Both can be excellent, and the difference is training level. A psychologist holds a doctorate (PsyD or PhD); many couples therapists are master's-level MFTs. If there's a betrayal, a mental-health issue in the mix, or a deeply stuck pattern, doctoral-level depth is worth seeking out. What matters just as much is whether couples work is the therapist's actual focus.
What should I look for in a couples therapist?
Three things: couples work is their real focus (not a sideline), they're active rather than passive in session, and they can name the evidence-based methods they use. It's fair to ask all three on a first call.
Methods
What therapeutic methods do you use?
I draw on several evidence-based approaches and match them to the couple: the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, cognitive behavioral tools for anxiety and depression, and attachment-based and psychodynamic work. Which I use depends on you and your relationship, not a fixed formula.
Is the Gottman Method or EFT better?
Both are well-researched and effective, and neither is universally "better." Gottman focuses on friendship, managing conflict, and concrete skills; EFT focuses on the attachment and emotions underneath the conflict. I draw on both and blend them to fit the couple in front of me.
Premarital counseling
Is premarital counseling worth it?
For most couples, yes. It's far easier to build good habits before the hard patterns set in than to undo them later. It tends to lower conflict early in a marriage and surfaces the important conversations before they become fights.
What is discussed in premarital counseling?
The things that quietly cause trouble later: money and spending styles, family loyalty and boundaries, expectations about roles and children, how you each handle conflict, and what you each imagine the next chapter looking like.
How many premarital sessions do couples usually do?
Often a handful, roughly four to eight, though it varies. Some couples come for a focused tune-up, others for a fuller course before the wedding.
Deciding whether to stay
Should I get a divorce or work on my marriage?
That uncertainty is not a weakness, it's the most important information you have, and it's exactly the point to slow down before deciding anything permanent. I help couples who are on the fence get clear and confident about which direction to go, without pressure toward either outcome. You don't have to know the answer to start.
Individual therapy
Do you see individuals, or only couples?
Both. Alongside couples work, I see adults individually for anxiety and high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, depression, OCD, grief, burnout, and major life transitions.
Do you treat anxiety, depression, and OCD?
Yes. I use cognitive behavioral tools for anxiety and depression, and exposure-based CBT approaches for OCD, along with the attachment and insight-oriented work that fits the person.
Jewish life
Is there value in seeing a therapist who understands Jewish life?
For many clients, yes. As a Jewish psychologist in Los Angeles, I understand the cultural and family dynamics, the expectations, the pressures, the "without having to explain it" part, so we can move straight into the work. It's a cultural understanding, not a religious requirement, and I work with couples and individuals of every background.
Getting Started
I am currently taking new clients. Reach out and tell me a little about what's going on, and we'll take it from there.
Email me: drjeneverchick@proton.me
Leave a voicemail or text: 310-271-9943 (all calls go to voicemail)