When should I start therapy — before, during, or after treatment?

Any time. Some women come at the beginning of their fertility journey for support from the start. Others come in the middle when the toll has become too much. Others come after — to process grief, make decisions, or repair their relationship. There's no wrong time.

My partner doesn't understand what I'm going through. Can therapy help?

Yes. One of the most painful parts of infertility is feeling alone inside your own relationship. I help couples understand each other's experience — because the person carrying the physical burden and the person watching helplessly are both suffering, just differently.

I feel ashamed that I can't get pregnant. Is that normal?

Completely. Shame is one of the most common and least talked about parts of infertility. It's irrational — you know it's not your fault — but it lives in your body anyway. Therapy is where you finally say it out loud to someone who won't flinch.

I'm considering stopping treatment. Can you help me make that decision?

Yes. This is one of the hardest decisions a person can make. I help you separate the guilt from the grief, look at what you actually want vs. what you think you should want, and make a decision you can live with — whatever that decision is.

Can you do this via video?

Yes. All sessions are secure and confidential. Many of my infertility clients prefer video because they can be in their own space — especially after difficult appointments or bad news. You don't have to hold it together long enough to drive to an office.

Infertility counseling Los Angeles Dr. Jené Verchick

Infertility & Pregnancy Loss Counseling in Los Angeles

You thought this would be the easy part. You did everything right — the career, the relationship, the timing. And now your body won't do the one thing you assumed it would. Every negative test, every failed cycle, every period that arrives like a punch to the stomach — it's not just disappointment anymore. It's grief. And nobody around you understands because you're grieving something you never had.

I'm Dr. Jené Verchick, a licensed clinical psychologist with 26+ years of experience. I work with women and couples navigating infertility, IVF, miscarriage, and pregnancy loss. I work with clients across Los Angeles, Bay Area, and San Diego.

You are not broken. You are not being punished. And you are not alone — even though it feels exactly like all three.

What No One Tells You About Infertility

Everyone talks about the medical side — the protocols, the hormones, the procedures. Nobody prepares you for the emotional devastation.

The shame. You can't do what every other woman seems to do effortlessly. Your Instagram is full of pregnancy announcements and you can't look at them without crying. Baby showers feel like torture. You smile through them anyway because admitting how much it hurts feels pathetic.

The isolation. You can't talk about it. Your friends with kids don't understand. Your friends without kids change the subject. Your mother asks when you're going to "give her a grandchild" and you want to scream. So you stop talking about it entirely — and the silence makes everything worse.

The jealousy you're ashamed of. You love your pregnant friend. You also can't be around her right now. The guilt of that contradiction is eating you alive.

The toll on your relationship. You and your partner started this journey as a team. Now sex is a medical event. Intimacy has been replaced by injection schedules. You're both exhausted, resentful, and terrified that this is going to break you — not just the dream of a baby, but the marriage itself.

The identity crisis. You always thought you'd be a mother. If that doesn't happen, who are you? What was all of this for?

I understand all of this. Not as a textbook concept. As the thing my clients carry into every session; raw, heavy, and rarely spoken about anywhere else.

How I Work

I'm not going to tell you to "stay positive." I'm not going to suggest meditation or gratitude journals. And I'm not going to treat your grief as a problem to solve.

What I will do:

Give you a space where you don't have to perform hope. Where you can say "I'm angry" and "I'm jealous" and "I'm not sure I can do this anymore" without being judged or fixed.
Help you process the grief — not just the loss of a pregnancy or a failed cycle, but the loss of the timeline you imagined, the effortless motherhood you assumed was yours, the version of your life that's slipping further away.
Work with you on the relationship damage. Infertility strains marriages in ways that most couples aren't prepared for. The resentment, the blame, the distance that opens when you're both in pain but can't reach each other — I help you bridge that gap before it becomes permanent.
Help you make decisions from a grounded place instead of a panicked one. When to keep going. When to pivot. When to stop. These are the hardest decisions you'll ever make, and making them from exhaustion and grief leads to choices you'll regret.

What I Help With

IVF and assisted reproduction. The emotional rollercoaster of treatment — the hope, the waiting, the devastation when it doesn't work, the pressure to try again immediately, the financial strain, the hormonal chaos. I help you stay connected to yourself and your partner through a process that's designed to be medicalized and impersonal.

Miscarriage and pregnancy loss. A loss that the world minimizes. "At least it was early." "You can try again." These responses are devastating because they erase the reality of what you lost. I don't minimize it. I help you grieve it fully — on your timeline, not anyone else's.

Secondary infertility. You have one child and can't have another. People say "at least you have one." That doesn't help. The grief of secondary infertility is compounded by guilt — guilt for wanting more, guilt for not being grateful enough, guilt for grieving when others have it worse.

The decision to stop. Nobody talks about this moment — when you're considering whether to stop trying. The guilt is overwhelming. The grief of letting go of the dream is different from the grief of a failed cycle. It's a loss of identity. I help you navigate that transition with compassion and clarity.

Donor eggs, donor sperm, surrogacy, and adoption. Each path comes with its own emotional complexity — grief for the biological connection you imagined, fear about bonding, questions about identity and what you'll tell the child. I help you process the feelings so you can move forward without unresolved grief underneath.

Infertility and Your Marriage

This is the part that scares you most — that infertility is going to take your marriage along with everything else.

Here's what I see in my practice: the couples who survive infertility are not the ones who pretend it's fine. They're the ones who face the damage it's doing — to their intimacy, their communication, their sense of being a team — and get help before the distance becomes permanent.

If your marriage is struggling under the weight of infertility, I work with couples too. Learn more about couples therapy. Many of my infertility clients start with individual work and bring their partner in when they're ready.

26+ Years of Experience

I've worked with women and couples through every stage of the fertility journey — from the first tentative conversations about trying, to the darkest moments after loss, to the decision to stop, to the unexpected joy of a path they never imagined. What I've learned is that infertility is never just about a baby. It's about identity, control, grief, shame, and the terrifying vulnerability of wanting something you can't guarantee. That's what I treat.

What Clients Say

"I had three miscarriages in eighteen months. I couldn't talk about it with anyone — not my husband, not my mother, not my friends. I was drowning in grief and pretending I was fine. Dr. Verchick was the first person I could be honest with. She didn't try to cheer me up. She sat with me in it. That's what I needed someone who could handle the weight without trying to make it lighter."

"IVF destroyed our intimacy. Sex became clinical. Conversations became logistics. I felt like a science experiment, not a wife. Dr. Verchick helped us find each other again underneath all the medical chaos. She saved our marriage. I don't say that lightly."

"After our fourth failed IVF cycle, I was done emotionally, physically, financially. But I couldn't say it out loud because it felt like giving up. Dr. Verchick helped me understand that stopping isn't giving up. It's choosing yourself. Making that decision with her support was the most painful and the most freeing thing I've ever done."

"Everyone told me I should be grateful I already had one child. They didn't understand that wanting a second wasn't greedy — it was a vision I'd had for my family my whole life. Dr. Verchick never made me feel guilty for grieving. She let me be sad about what I lost without comparing it to what I had."

"We chose surrogacy after years of failed treatments. I expected to feel relieved. Instead I felt grief — for the pregnancy I wouldn't experience, for the birth I wouldn't have. Dr. Verchick helped me process that grief so I could bond with my baby without resentment or regret. She was right — the grief and the joy could coexist."

Frequently asked questions about infertility counseling

Do you work with couples going through infertility together?

Yes. Most of my infertility clients come as couples, though I also work with individuals. Infertility puts a unique kind of strain on a relationship. I help you both stay connected to each other through the medical decisions, the disappointments, the financial pressure, and the timeline that nobody warned you about.

Do you work with people who've experienced pregnancy loss or miscarriage?

Yes. Pregnancy loss is a grief that is rarely acknowledged the way it should be. Friends move on quickly. Family doesn't know what to say. I work with people processing loss in real time, with people whose loss happened years ago but never resolved, and with couples grieving differently from each other.

Can therapy help during IVF or fertility treatment?

Yes. The medical process is exhausting in ways that are hard to describe to anyone who hasn't been through it. The hormones, the appointments, the two-week waits, the cycle that didn't work. Therapy during treatment helps you stay grounded and protects the relationship through what is often the hardest year or two of a couple's life.

What if my partner and I are dealing with infertility differently?

This is one of the most common things infertility couples bring to therapy. One of you may want to keep trying when the other is ready to stop. One of you may want to consider donor conception or adoption when the other is not there yet. I help you both be honest about where you actually are without either of you pretending.

Do you work with people who are considering whether to keep trying?

Yes. The question of when to stop trying is one of the most painful and most lonely decisions infertility couples face. I help you both get clear on what you actually want, separate from what you think you should want, and make the decision together rather than letting it default into existence.

How is infertility different from other reasons people see a therapist?

The grief is anticipatory and ongoing. The medical timeline controls your life. Your friends are having babies. Holidays become hard. Mother's Day and Father's Day become hard. The cumulative weight of all of it changes who you are, sometimes for years. Infertility therapy holds space for that specifically.

Do you work with people who've completed their families through adoption, surrogacy, or donor conception?

Yes. The path to your family may have looked nothing like what you imagined. I work with people processing the loss of the imagined version, integrating the family they actually have, and managing the questions that come up later about disclosure, identity, and complexity.

What is the difference between an infertility counselor and a couples therapist who works with infertility?

A specialized infertility counselor often works alongside fertility clinics on specific evaluations like donor or surrogate screenings. I am not in that role. I am a licensed psychologist who works with the emotional and relational impact of infertility on your life and your relationship, over time, as the whole picture rather than a single decision point.

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