Couples therapy & marriage counseling in Sherman Oaks
If the same argument keeps coming back, or the distance between you has started to feel normal, you are not alone, and it does not have to stay this way. I'm Dr. Jené Verchick, a licensed psychologist with 26+ years helping Sherman Oaks couples work through conflict, disconnection, and the slow drift that settles into long relationships.
What Brings Sherman Oaks Couples In
Most couples who reach out are not in dramatic crisis. They are tired. Tired of the same fight on a loop, the silence after it, the feeling of being roommates who run a household together but rarely connect. Couples come to me for communication that keeps turning into conflict, rebuilding trust after a betrayal, intimacy that has faded, the strain two careers and kids put on a marriage, and big transitions like a new baby, a move, or a career change. Whatever brought you here, the work is the same underneath: find the pattern that keeps repeating, and change it.
Why Sherman Oaks Couples Choose Me
Most of the therapists you'll find in Sherman Oaks are marriage and family therapists or group practices where you're matched to whoever has an opening. I'm a doctoral-level psychologist, and couples work has been the core of my practice for 26+ years. That depth matters when the same dynamic has been running for years, or when one of you is quietly losing hope. Couples also tell me it matters that I'm engaged in the room. I don't just nod and reflect. I help you see the pattern as it's happening and practice something different, right there in session.
How I Work
I take a warm, engaged approach. Early on, I'm mapping the cycle between you: who pursues, who withdraws, where the conversation breaks down, and what each of you is actually trying to say underneath the words. Then we interrupt that cycle in session, so you have the experience of talking to each other differently, not just insight about why it's hard. For couples with years of ingrained patterns, that experience is usually what finally breaks through.
What to Expect in the First Session
You don't need to prepare anything or agree on what the problem is. In the first session I listen to how each of you sees what's happening, and both perspectives get equal room. Most couples leave feeling two things: relief that someone finally sees the whole picture, and hope that there's a real way to work on it. We usually meet weekly at first, and most couples notice a change in how they talk to each other within the first month or two.
Premarital Counseling in Sherman Oaks
If you're engaged or newly committed, premarital counseling is some of the most valuable work you can do. We work on money, family expectations, conflict styles, and the conversations couples tend to avoid until they become fights. Building those skills before you need them is far easier than repairing later.
Common Questions
What percentage of marriages survive counseling?
Most couples who commit to the work see real improvement. Research on approaches like emotionally focused therapy finds roughly 70 to 75 percent of couples report meaningful, lasting gains. The single biggest factor is starting before resentment hardens into indifference.
What is the 5-5-5 rule in marriage?
It is a simple way to slow a heated moment down: one partner speaks for five minutes while the other just listens, then you switch, then you spend five minutes talking it through together. It helps in the moment, though the deeper change comes from understanding the pattern underneath the conflict.
What is the Gottman six-hour rule?
It comes from research showing that couples who improved their marriages invested about six extra hours a week in the relationship: brief check-ins before and after work, expressions of appreciation, affection, and a regular date. The principle is that small, consistent investments matter more than grand gestures.
Can I start if my partner isn't ready?
Yes. It's common for one partner to start before the other is willing. Working with one motivated partner can still change the dynamic between you, and a reluctant partner often joins once they see the work is fair and no one is being ganged up on.
How long does marriage counseling take?
It depends on how long the pattern has been running and what you're working on. Some couples feel real movement in a couple of months; deeper work, like rebuilding after a betrayal, takes longer. The goal is always to work ourselves out of a job.